Some Quick Anecdotes

Conversation #1

Me: Mom, I wrote down 20 things on my to-do list today. It’s nearly midnight and I’ve only accomplished three. I feel so UNPRODUCTIVE AND USELESS. Plus I feel so lazy all the time and tired. *wah, wah, grumble, grumble*

Mom’s response (translated from Chinese): “You know, if you had been able to accomplish all 20 in one day with ease, people would really question whether or not you had leukemia in the first place. Also, please, go to sleep. You have a compromised body now doing insane things and it’s not normal anymore like before.

Conversation #2:

Dad (translated from Chinese): “You know, Janet, if only you concentrated on your health and recovery 150%  just like the way you took 24 units at UCLA in a quarter over the unit maximum.

Me: *rolls eyes like a 16-year old tween, but secretly inside I’m thinking: “Ugh, crap, he’s right.”*

The scoreboard of witticism and wisdom when you hate to admit that your parents are right sometimes: –

Me: zero. Parents: two.

I treasure my relationship with them, even though we reach tensions nearly every day. My mother and I are like cross between Lorelai and Rory Gilmore from “The Gilmore Girls” (in which I am Rory and she is Lorelai. She has a youthful optimisn and energy about her, while there are days when I’m just kind of bland…) and a chapter that comes out of Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club. My father and I are pretty relaxed together and think very similarly, but he’s very disciplined in his lifestyle and expects or hopes that I will learn from him. Little arguments run quite often with them. There are days when they will drive me INSANE. Things have to be completely negotiated quite thoroughly. I struggle to use my limited Chinese language to convey or express how I feel, and it feels shameful for me to do it better in English. This sounds stereotypical, but it’s true: our tensions are often manifested from the “East meets the West” collision. I’ve also reached the cusp of an age where I truly desire complete independence as many young adults. What I’ve found most helpful though was to maintain all channels of communication open. All families, no matter how neat they seem or well-poised they appear, are dysfunctional in their truest form (maybe in various ways). And this isn’t nearly a bad thing — we’re all just one big crazy family. And even though they drive me crazy, my parents are my mentors – my best friends, the loves of my life, and I will buy them a big-fat-nice condo somewhere when I have a decent job. Or an environmentally efficient car. Whatever the hell they want. I will shower them with plenty of materialistic things to make their retirement a complete vacation. I don’t want them to ever have to work again.

At the end of the day, what brings us back together and keeps us tied (and perhaps even sane) is that there’s a reciprocal, unconditional love that will never burn out like many other different types of loves. Especially when it comes to fighting cancer, these bonds are magnified ten-fold, or if you want to talk nerdy, it’s love^infinity (yeah, exponents!)

I have to go: they are lecturing to me again. I have about 50 lectures a day with subtle life-lessons sprinkled in them. 143, Mom and Dad. You too, little brother.

Your typical dysfunctional family.