Delayed Intensification

I’ve elected to undergo roughly 4 more weeks of additional chemotherapy to further reduce relapse rates by 1-2% extra. This puts me at a completion date that may not be done until the beginning of summer. It’s been about a week since one of my physicians introduced the protocol to me that will call for the reintroduction of some familiar chemotherapy soldiers that I thought I relieved from their duty a long time ago: vinchristine, dexamethasone, aspariginase, and doxorubicin. These soldiers will be cycling through intensively in my entire body and let me be direct — I am scared out of my wits and completely dread the day I need to restart them all. Why? Because I know exactly what I’m going to go through with three of those drug agents … I can safely say that after six rounds, the side effects become second nature to me. I will, probably for the most part, become incapacitated again.

Here’s an honest conversation with one of my favorite nurse practitioners to the best of my memory:

Me: “Will this suck? Will it be bad? (In other words: will I feel like I’ve gotten hit by a truck multiple times?)”

NP: “Pretty much. You’re also going to end up neutropenic.”

This is optional and I don’t have to do it. However, every cancer patient’s worst nightmare is relapse … and I am not taking my chances if there’s a decent opportunity for these chemotherapy soldiers to save my butt. With a slightly heavy heart, let’s begin Round 7 out of 8 total now. I look forward to the day I’m released from the shackles of leukemia.