Dare You To Move

I’m scared out of my wits. This is definitely one of those “why me?” moments. An emergent CT scan has been ordered by my healthcare team to investigate a potential complication from chemotherapy. For about a month now, I’ve been experiencing unusual pain in my abdomen that has made it somewhat difficult for me to breathe or move around normally.

It has also been a rough couple of days. I found out that another patient friend of mine, Emily Cai, had passed away from battling Mr. Leuk/Luke. Unlike most patients, she had already endured two transplants, but eventually her body was simply too weak to withstand the third trial of intense chemotherapy. I’m actually still pretty numb from hearing all of this … my family and I got to know her inside and outside of the hospital as a special friend who had one of the sweetest dispositions imaginable. We shared the same team of physicians and nurses. The friendship was so easy with her despite our significant age gap and differing life experiences. As a young mother to three children, she fought courageously with such a feisty attitude that was truly …. undeniably admirable.

Despite all of the unsettling news … I see no other option than to simply continue celebrating life and living. I have to admit that I’m not ecstatic about consuming two whole bottles of Barium Sulfate Suspension in preparation for the scan, but the more quickly I act … the sooner I’ll have the necessary results to move forward.

I worry. I’m afraid. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But as long as I keep my dreams steadfast and maintain the confidence that I’ve had since the first day of my diagnosis, I know surely that I’ll move beyond another obstacle.

Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers!